On having less fear and more friendship.

As the world grapples with the loneliness epidemic, we’ve found an antidote in an unexpected place: breakfast.

It sounds simple, but after 17 years of hosting CreativeMornings events, we’ve seen just how transformative this kind of gathering can be.

^{Photo from our São Paulo chapter by Daniel Pinheiro.}

Every month, a free breakfast and talk bring thousands of people together in cities across the world. It’s soul-nourishing. It’s uplifting. And it’s an orientation towards finding more generosity, kindness, and connection, locally and accessibly.

We know being in the same room together is where the magic happens because we see it all the time. At CreativeMornings, people tell us they feel safe, connected, and inspired to be part of something bigger.

And it turns out, many lives have been shaped by a community cultivated at breakfast. As attendee Jolinda Smithson Anderson said, “The friends I have met at CreativeMornings have become the fabric of my life.”

Breakfast might be where we found the cure, but the lessons we’ve encountered along the way can be applied to so much more.

Here’s what we learned about finding and deepening connections wherever we are.

7 lessons for building community and solving loneliness

1. Connection is a practice

For people to feel less lost and lonely, there needs to be more spaces for people to gather.

Our first ever patron, Ruth Ann Harnisch, put it perfectly: “Everybody needs a third space to be that’s beyond the workplace, beyond home. For some, it might be sport or church, but CreativeMornings offers something that doesn’t exist—a place where a creative life is possible for everyone. A community that is loving and kind and generous.”

Being comfortable in a room with people is a lot like building a muscle. As a CreativeMornings attendee from Stockholm told us, “I’m a ‘part-time extrovert’. I can pretend to be outgoing but only for small periods. So for one hour, once a month, I practice being comfortable approaching strangers in a super safe space.”

Connection is really the art of paying attention. To practise, we have to shift from the individual and tune into the feelings of the people around us. Is this person next to me doing well? What do they need right now? How can I help?

^{Photo from our New York chapter by Nelson Luna.}

2. Do what you love together

As the brilliant Pete Davis said in his CreativeMornings talk, “community is what happens when people do what they love together.”

We know CreativeMornings is a place to find your people. We’ve heard countless stories of people striking up conversations at CreativeMornings and going on to do what they love together—attending gigs, heading out for coffee, or meeting up for shared hobbies.

As Amsterdam attendee Lily Heaton shared with us, “I’ve met a lot of interesting people and it’s fun to run into familiar faces too. Last year, I met a gal who was curious about analog photography and we started going on photo walks and now I’ve started a women’s analog photography group, which is cool.”

^{Photo from our Madrid chapter by Heriberto Noguera.}

3. Build a ritual and rhythm

Regularly being at the same place at the same time is a tried-and-true way to find connection.

Whether it’s the same café you go to each day or a dance class you go to every week, adding ritual and rhythm to the third spaces you visit can help build familiarity and rapport.

For many, this is the beauty of attending the monthly CreativeMornings chapter events. As an attendee in Seattle confided with us, “I really started to feel like I was at home when people at the events were recognizing me and making an effort to say hello. It really made me feel like part of a community.”

A regular rhythm is the heartbeat of CreativeMornings. For 17 years, people all around the world have had a free, accessible and loving space to attend each month, and we believe that allows for depth of connection.

^{Photo from our Kuala Lumpur chapter.}

4. Bring a friend, make a friend

Once you’ve established a ritual and rhythm, you can take it a step further and invite someone to come along to something you love.

For many, inviting people to a free CreativeMornings event is the perfect, low-stakes way of creating momentum in friendships. Some attendees told us they use it as a way to reconnect with friends they studied with, a workplace outing with colleagues, or even as a vetting technique for dating! As a Prague attendee shared, “I used Creative Mornings as a place to go with men I was interested in. If they liked it, they deserved a chance for another date.”

It’s also a way to naturally expand connections as friends-of-friends become friends.

Bringing a friend along to something you love is a great way to deepen an existing connection. As attendee Meghan Arnold said, “I’ve met some amazing people at CreativeMornings, but the real secret sauce is how it’s strengthened existing relationships. I have a dear friend who I knew casually from a social scene and then we started attending events together. It’s been years but our friendship grew such a solid base from going to talks together.”

By extending an invitation, you also encourage others to do the same, creating a friendship snowball effect.

“This is how friendship expands,” said Mustafa Gül from Istanbul. “I invited two of my closest friends last year and now they also invite other people. For this month’s event, we will probably attend as a group of five.”

^{Photo from our Winnipeg chapter by Gabrielle Touchette.}

5. Small talk can lead to deep talk

There’s a certain authenticity to having a simple chit-chat with the person next to you, free from the pressure of typical networking events.

This is why the coffee line at our chapter events is famous for starting friendships. There are built-in conversation starters: What brings you here? Have you been here before? How do you like your coffee? We’ve experienced first-hand that it’s less about what you say and more about extending an invitation to connect and seeing where things go.

As a Vancouver attendee told us, “I saw a fellow attendee standing alone (like myself) and started up a conversation. We sat together for the event and exchanged numbers and have been very good friends ever since!”

A simple question can lead to a touching conversation. As Cosmo Kuzmick from Charlottesville said, “As we were cleaning up, I asked a woman if she enjoyed the talk. She sat down and we talked about grieving and for half an hour we held each other’s hands and cried, then we walked and hugged.”

^{Photo from our New York chapter by Nelson Luna.}

6. Find the global in the hyperlocal

When we start with where we are, we can find beauty at our doorstep.

This is what it means to tap into the hyperlocal. As an attendee from Grand Rapids said, “I found my neighbor who lives three doors down at a CreativeMornings event. We are now friends and share plants!”

Interestingly, within the hyperlocal, we can also find the global—new people, cultures, and viewpoints. What’s more, we can begin to see how everything is connected.

As an attendee told us, “One of the main things I love about CreativeMornings is that when I travel, I’m able to catch an event in a new city. The volunteers are incredibly friendly and have so many thoughts on where to go—at times they have even hosted me. I’ve also done this with folks from other chapters in the past as well! It’s a great cultural exchange and I love that I still have friends in many ports because of this community’s generosity.”

^{Photo from our Bodrum chapter.}

7. Less fear, more friendship

It can be difficult or daunting to put yourself out there. But that’s what we need at this moment—less fear and more friendship.

Opportunities for connection are everywhere, we just need to be open to noticing them.

An attendee from Shenandoah Valley explained to us that after moving to a city where she didn’t know anyone, she saw a flyer to help start a CreativeMornings chapter and ended up joining the volunteer team. “Almost everyone I know now is someone I’ve met through CreativeMornings. I feel like this community is the most intentional I’ve ever had in my life!”

We hear this again and again. When people are feeling lost and lonely, our events can be heart-opening.“

We want to help create more opportunities for people to connect.

So, we’re pouring everything we’ve learned into our latest experiment; CreativeMornings Clubs.

These hyperlocal, community-led gatherings are an opportunity for people to do what they love together.

Clubs have a heartbeat—a regular rhythm that cultivates intimacy and allows people to get to know each other by name.

Clubs are designed to be more accessible. They’re entirely community-led, which means they can happen anytime people want to gather—afternoons, evenings, weekends.

CreativeMornings has always been a friendship engine, but Clubs magnifies the opportunities to deepen and expand connections in your very own neighbourhood.

And this is why we think a different world is possible.

If we can create more hyperlocal spaces to connect and cultivate more generosity, kindness and optimism, we will collectively find our way.

We believe the future is not lost. The future is not lonely. It’s local.

^{Photo from our Dusseldorf chapter by Mimo Khair.}

What Club would you love to start? What is something you love doing and would love to build community around? Tell us your idea for a Club! It’s a fun way to make new friends!

^{This article is part of our blog series of love letters to everyone who’s ever been part of a CreativeMornings gathering. Since our start in 2008, our remarkable volunteers have hosted over 15,000 events across the globe. As a community, we have become experts in what it means to create spaces that allow for deep, loving, human connection in an increasingly disconnected world. With this series, we’re sharing what we’ve learned hoping it will encourage you to join in or create your own meaningful spaces. The future is not lonely. It’s communal and hyperlocal.}