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About Josie Urbistondo: Hi! My name is Josie. I have been teaching writing and literature and writing myself for about a decade now. Currently, I teach at the University of Miami and mentor high school dual enrollment faculty for Florida International University. It wasn’t until I had my daughter that I yearned for a new space to exercise creative freedom that captured all facets of my identity. Our blog, www.doubtsanddesires.com, I co-author with a dear, long-time friend, Linjen Neogi, became just that. We broker content we find valuable, fun and enriching.
We strive to be a stop for the brainy, hungry, traveling, all around contemporary mami – we hope to provide meditations on life, love, motherhood and the spaces in between. We are here for the constant reader or the casual glance. Working around nap schedules, board meetings and all around beautiful chaos.
This article was originally published on Doubts & Desires.
via LuckyJrEskie on YouTube, WPBT
Five things growing up Cuban that my daughter will miss out on.
1.The first bilingual sitcom, “Qué Pasa, USA?” aired for four seasons just before I was born; my aunt says the show felt like it was on forever and helped generations begin a conversation on healing while practicing acculturation. I watched the series reruns for a few years growing up. It lent humor to relevant and seemingly very serious issues of exile and belonging spoken about at home. The clip above depicts the three generations and their varying stance on citizenry and how that complicates their Cubanness.
2.The efficiency where a different relative lived at any given moment - For a few years we lived with my grandparents. They had a small efficiency connected to the larger house. Every so often there would be a new relative living there. This may be less a Cuban thing and more a testament to our improved economic status as a family, but I miss having multiple generations under one roof. This has been forever romanticized in my head. However, ask me around the holidays, and I would probably have a completely different perspective.
3.The floor to ceiling Saint statues relatives had in their homes - Visiting extended family and tios and tias not related to me was a pastime growing up. One of my most memorable was visiting a relative’s home who had a floor to ceiling Virgen de la Caridad Del Cobre, patron saint of Cuba. It was the norm, typical, nothing to gawk over. In between the no gracias ya comi (no thanks, I already ate) and the besitos a todos (kisses to everyone), I played the same guessing game. Where did they buy her? It couldn’t be Burdines or Zayre. How did they bring her in? Having these larger than life reminders of one’s culture was overwhelming and amazing. My daughter will have to now settle for an estampita (I don’t even know what it is called in English, a saint card?) sold almost everywhere and if you want to see one ask a Cuban, for they probably have a bunch in their wallet.
4.Using talco like it’s going out of style - Who says Cubans have a hang up with race? We were doused on the daily with several fuacatas of talcum powder. After bath time, we looked like ghosts for a few minutes. Now there’s a fear of asthma, a lung infection, etc. Unfortunate.
5.Bucles and inappropriate toddler high heels - Cuban culture (and I would extend to Latino culture in general) is extremely presumida…can’t quite find the adequate translation; very problematically, we love our strict gender roles and impose such expectations on our children way too early. I still have the child sized red heels I wore as a kid. Not okay! But so adorable I remember everyone said. And while I hope to be less rigid with my daughter, I have to own it. I had bucles at one point as well. These are the perfect Shirley Temple like ringlets hairsprayed to a crisp. Unfortunately, no picture survived. This is embarrassing even among Cuban girls.
doubts & desires
***…bonus…Friends calling and asking if my family was fighting? We are pretty loud. The TV is loud, the conversations are loud and the laughter is loud. I remember friends calling my house and then becoming concerned wondering if everything was all right. Totally, they were just chatting.
