Meet our Musician: shiv

For February’s CreativeMornings event we are joined by shiv as our musical guest. 

shiv is a Zimbabwean/Irish musician based in Dublin. Having established herself as a house DJ, she turned her attention to where her passion truly lay in song-writing. 

Her music, though simple in its musicality, envelops you in her world. She uses her unique blend of R&B and Lo-fi Hip-Hop with elements of Soul and Neo-Soul to create music that is emotive and brimming with feeling. Shiv’s silky-sweet voice wraps you in a hug that carries her soulful lyrics and brings them to life over the warm, hazy instrumentals. 

Our music co-ordinator, Molly, sat down with shiv to ask her about all things music and creativity.

How did you transition to being a full time musician?

In a weird way, Covid definitely made that happen. Music has always been in my life but to be actually doing it full time with nothing else going on is great. This is my primary focus right now. Before Covid, I was working in a restaurant alongside doing music and when restaurants closed down and the Covid payment was instated, I had to rethink what I was doing. So, it really threw me into music. I was DJing for a little while before all of that because I didn’t really think of singing as a career path, necessarily. I felt like it was a one in a million kind of thing where only a few people are chosen and you have to be chosen by a major label. The old industry model. I thought DJing was a great way to express myself musically without necessarily being a musician or a singer but music was always part of my life.  

When my sister was getting married and I was the maid of honour, I was meant to write her a speech but I just don’t like public speaking. I don’t really enjoy speaking in front of more than about 5 people. It’s too much. So I decided I would write her a song instead. I put that song up on YouTube and my managers at the time saw it and suggested that I consider doing this as a career. Then I just went from there, slowly but surely building things up right and learning more about production and how to put everything together.  And yeah, I guess that sort of brings us up to now.

Do you use that song that you wrote for your sister’s wedding in your set?

No, I don’t use it. It was the very first song I wrote so I thought about putting it out, but I ended up going in a different direction. 

A lot of creatives find that their confidence fluctuates, as a byproduct of their creativity and their values being such a huge part of their work. Do you feel in a good place with your confidence?

Yeah! Before releasing my EP I was definitely in that turtle mode. It’s the pressure of knowing people are looking at you and that people have expectations of you. That was really hard to swallow I guess, and even though at the time I don’t think many people were looking at me or are looking at me currently, it just really felt like they were. I felt like I had something to prove. So, at that time it was difficult but because the EP is about all of that stuff, that was my way of processing all of it. 

I do feel like that’s behind me though. I’ve come up with coping mechanisms and would like to think that I have a more internal locus of evaluation, to put a psychological spin on it! Obviously that’s easier said than done though, you have to also be in a good frame of mind to be able to rationalise all of that.

So that was a big thing. Being able to just say ‘look, create for you. If you’re happy with it, that’s the important thing and if anyone else likes it - amazing, obviously that’s such a bonus. But if not, whatever.’ You haven’t lost anything by putting yourself out there, you know.

People need to like your music to spend money to see you perform those songs. So that’s definitely part of it. 

I think it’s just about finding the right balance between being sure that you’re doing it for yourself and appreciating people who enjoy what you’re doing. 

Your EP ‘Me 2 Me’ gives off that vibe of sitting in the grass in the summertime. At the same time, the tone of the EP is driven by introspection and exploring the insecurities that you described earlier. Are there still narratives that arise around your creativity that you have to work on silencing? 

Yeah, definitely. The big one is comparison, thinking things like, ‘oh well, this person is doing this so I should be doing it like that too.’ But then it can just cripple you completely from even wanting to try. With the process of making music, another negative narrative might be judging what I’m doing as I’m doing it but the more that I just ease into it and just do it, I stop thinking. At the very least maybe you’ve finished something. If it’s not good then maybe it might inspire something else that you make later on.

So, I think they are the two big things. Trying to get to a place where I just have patience with myself. Showing up is half the battle really, just showing up and doing it. It doesn’t matter what you come up with at the end of the day ‘cos it’s gonna all build towards something good in the future. Sometimes it’s just about having the confidence to know that if you’ve done it before you can do it again. It’s in ya! It wasn’t a fluke. Understanding that was a big thing. Patience and compassion for yourself.

We often hear creatives talk about how it’s so important to let yourself make bad work. It sounds like a lot of your creative process is just allowing yourself to sit with it and try things. 

Exactly, yeah. It’s not that you’re setting out with the intention of sitting down to specifically write a bad song. Even though I’ve heard Blindboy say that before on his podcast, he’s advised people to sit down and write something bad. I’ve never done that personally, but if I’m going to write a song or going to do some work on music, I do like to set myself a time where I just sit for two hours and just see what happens in that time. It could be bad, it could be good or it could be something that you draw inspiration from for future projects and future work. 

You never know what subconsciously comes from those moments. You could look back at a Logic session and be like ‘oh my god, that’s where I got the idea for that little melody line.’

Was there anything that has surprised you about your creativity over the past year?

I don’t know if anything surprised me, necessarily. Nothing’s jumping out at me that I was like, whoa, I didn’t know that. But I did have a realisation around discipline and how it’s just so important. If you’re disciplined in every other area of your life and you have a routine set up, then it leaves space to be free with your creativity which is how it should be. 

I guess I did just realise how important discipline is and how important it is to do at least one creative thing a day, whether it’s a journal entry or a poem or drawing something. Also, making sure you go on some little adventure to the shop or for a walk because you end up soaking up things that you didn’t even realise, or making new connections that you wouldn’t have made before. 

It’s so easy to just be stuck in the house and stuck at your piano or your computer forcing yourself to create. The space outside of where you create is just as important, those experiences where your conscious mind is off and your subconscious is ready to pick up on those little bits and bobs, those moments are really valuable.

The theme for this month’s CreativeMornings event is Divergent. What comes up for you when you think about that word? 

At the moment I’ve been thinking a lot about the building racial situations and everything that’s been happening around that. I feel like being mixed race is a weird one because you don’t really fit into either category. It’s like you’re too white to be black and too black to be white. So I definitely feel like that’s such a divergence from the norm. That’s how I’m finding myself at the moment, but not necessarily in a negative way. I’m just something different, I’m a diversion from what is the standard on either side of the spectrum. 

It can be really difficult to know when to include something so personal in your art, if ever. Especially with things that are so fresh. Do you keep those things in your life separate until you know how to approach them or do you tend to dive in? 

I think you definitely need to take time to process things a little bit, even though writing does help with processing. But sometimes when stuff is too raw, I don’t feel like sharing it unless it’s completely just something I’m writing for me, but even just seeing it on a page sometimes is too much. 

I have been writing about it. I feel like I have a lot to say about it at the moment so it is coming through. But you do need to figure out what you want to say and how exactly you feel about it before you can really put pen to paper and make a song out of it. 

Your music currently sits in that soothing R&B, summers day soulful genre. If you could click your fingers and jump into another genre for a day, which one would you gravitate towards? 

That’s an interesting question. I wouldn’t deviate too far from R&B and soul. I think I would happily be a rapper or a jazz musician, if I could do that. Then I’d love to be a house musician as well because I did DJ for a while and I loved it. Sorry, that’s three!

DJing must have been so fun. Was that your full time gig?

No, I was doing it on the side. I used to do two nights a week. I had a residency in Berlin Bar on Dame Street. DJing was fun, it was a nice way to make money and it was just a good buzz but when I needed to take the next step to make it a bit more regular, I couldn’t really find the motivation to do that. That’s when I knew it was just a hobby, you know. I was thinking, ‘oh maybe I could do this full time,’ but then I don’t think I could be excited to DJ full time. It’s definitely fun though, I do miss it. 

Your visuals are such a well matched extension of your music. They portray that same warm and authentic sense of self that we hear when listening to your songs. Is there a particular way that you approach them or is it just about going with what feels good in the moment? 

In the beginning, I didn’t have a budget or any support so it was all about getting friends on board and explaining what I had in my head. It was about saying, ‘let’s just put something together and see what happens’. I didn’t really put too much thought into any of them, especially because I don’t come from a visual background at all. It’s not my comfort zone, not one bit! So, I just wanted to put across whatever I could.

Moving forward, I would love to get a bit more professionally and creatively involved in the visual aspect because I feel like it’s such an important part of the whole story of the music. I know it can engage a whole different audience, so I do think it’s important. Possibly a little to my detriment, I haven’t put enough effort into the visuals, but I also feel like sometimes it is just about what feels right and fleshing out a basic idea that you have in your head. And like all aspects of creativity - it’s about getting started with an idea. Then more ideas just kind of flood in once you get the ball rolling, you know.

–You can catch shiv on Spotify here.